Oru Mu: Sunrise - II
This story is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, incidents and dialogues are a figment of my imagination – most definitely inspired by God and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organisations, persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
At the top of her game, the God-fearing Bola Ifetomi is the person everyone wants to know - she's connected and successful, all this despite her unfavourable upbringing. Not only is her career thriving, she’s been married to the best of the best - Duro Ifetomi, for five years. Bola has the perfect life, she has it all! But Bola doesn't believe so - she thinks her life is incomplete and imperfect, how long must she wait? Just like her upbringing, everybody she knows has something she wants, it’s almost teasing. Oru Mu is the Yoruba phrase for “it’s hot” - will Bola be able to withstand the sudden heat when her perfect life begins to show imperfect lines? How far will Bola go to obtain what she wants most and at what cost?
“Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house.
In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life...””
1 Samuel 1:9-11 NIV
SIXTEEN
The man and his daughters sat engaged in awkward small talk. Truthfully Bola had never thought about seeing Kolade again. After her wedding, she vowed she’d never go looking for him again, so it was no surprise that they were both stumbling over their words with Seyi as the mediator fluffing out the awkwardness.
Bola had never heard her father apologise, neither had she ever seen him cry, she hadn’t expected any of this; she had even hoped he’d be mean towards her so she could ‘prove God wrong’ but it was she that was proven wrong.
Kolade had shed a few tears in their silence just from looking at her and he had shed a few more each time he apologised. Hearing him apologise so many times tugged at Bola’s heart, she knew God wanted her to forgive Kolade but she was struggling. Bola hadn’t realised how much her upbringing had shaped her identity, forgiving Kolade would mean giving up a part of herself and doing so would mean that she’d be left questioning who she really was. Bola wasn’t ready to say “I forgive you” and for the first time ever she empathised with how Peju might be feeling.
“Forgiveness is hard.” Bola thought.
“But with me it’s possible.”
Bola knew God was telling the truth but she wasn’t ready.
“I am now a Christian. Just a baby one.” Kolade said joyfully using his index finger and thumb to quantify how ‘small’ his newfound faith was, turning to give Seyi a smile.
“Yes, that’s right Bola, he became a Christian a few weeks ago, although he still hasn’t started to attend Sunday service.” Seyi gave Kolade a playful side-eye, “But he comes for mid-week service on Wednesday’s which is better than nothing.” Seyi spoke about Kolade like a proud family member and Bola couldn’t put a finger on it but their closeness was too close for her.
“There are just too many people at the church on Sunday’s and it makes me a little uneasy. But like you explained to me that I need to keep talking to God about it.”
“That’s right daddy. The more you do, the more you’ll hear his voice.”
“I even think I heard His voice yesterday when I…” Kolade coughed to hold himself back from talking too much from excitement, Seyi had taken after him in that regard. “...when I went to bed last night. I said a prayer for you Oluwaseyi and I said a prayer for you Omobolanle.”
It was becoming uncomfortable for Bola, why should the man who caused her so much pain pray for her? She definitely never prayed for him. Why was he being so nice?
“Seyi, we need to go now.” Bola only spoke a few words even though she had a lot to say. The longer she sat and saw her father, God tugged on her heart to forgive Kolade - she couldn’t take it any longer. She was afraid to forgive him for fear that doing so would void any questions she believed she had the right to ask and get answers to. The pleasant mutters and the ‘lovey-dovey-I’m-a-good-person-now’ atmosphere was also becoming too much for Bola, she hadn’t slept all night and her adrenaline was wearing off.
“Oh?” Kolade whispered brokenhearted. If he could have his daughters stay all day he would, but he knew that this encounter was overwhelming for Bola, he’ll need to trust God that she wouldn’t go forever.
“Will you be coming back?” He asked timidly.
“She’s staying with me for a few days,” Seyi stated as a matter of fact.
“Ok, ok, that is good, it’ll give you two time to bond.” Kolade tried to reduce the size of his smile and by the stern look on Seyi’s face, he had failed. He couldn’t help but be ecstatic looking at his children.
Kolade walked the ladies to the gate giving Seyi a hug first and hesitantly reaching to do the same with Bola, instead she extended her hand towards him. He couldn’t hold it against Bola, too much time had passed and a lot of mending was required, but Kolade was committed to taking his time to get to know his ‘Omobolanle’ again.
“He has changed a lot,” Bola muttered to Seyi as they crossed the street.
“He has. It’s all God Bola. The man I met last year is not the man we just sat with.” Seyi smiled back at her sister, there was still so much to say but it would have to wait because Bola looked exhausted.
SEVENTEEN
My sleep was deep, so deep that when I woke up I couldn’t remember where I was.
Thankfully when I woke up Seyi had come to check on me - I had been asleep all day, it is now dusk and I’m starving.
“How are you feeling? I came to check on you a few times but you were deep in sleep.” Seyi asks me slightly concerned.
“I feel good, just a little achy. I think I slept for too long.” My stomach growls as if reminding me that it exists.
Seyi laughs, “There’s still iyan from earlier or would you prefer something lighter?”
“I’m so hungry, I’ll have iyan.” I reach for the bedside table to get up and I feel woozy. Seyi notices too.
“It’s been a crazy couple of days for you, please sit down, I’ll bring you your food.”
I want to argue with Seyi to convince her that I’m fine, I mean, what kind of guest doesn’t assist their host - but I can tell she won’t buy any of it. For such a young lady she is mature, poised and… I guess the word I’m looking for is ‘together’, it’s admirable.
“Don’t forget to call your husband, I’m sure he’s been trying to get a hold of you.”
Oh, snap! Duro. I was supposed to call him when I got here.
So many missed calls and messages from Duro, his mum, the girls. I’m sure everyone is tired of my disappearing act, but what do I tell them?
“Tell them the truth.”
I could do that, couldn’t I?
“BOLA!” Duro shouts my name with relief, “Where are you?” Ok, now he is pissed.
“Hey, Duro. I’m so sorry, I forgot to call you when I got here and it’s just been a bit crazy and I just woke up and I’m about to eat and then Seyi reminded me to call you…”
“BOLA! Please slow down - first tell me where you are and who is Seyi?”
Oh, I haven’t even mentioned Seyi to Duro.
“Sorry, I’ll start again. I came to see my fath… my dad. I came to see Kolade.”
“What? Why? With everything going on…”
“That’s exactly why because there’s so much going on. Duro, God asked me to come here and I’m still figuring it all out but I know part of the reason is to rest and seek God’s face.”
“Why couldn’t you do that here?”
“Duro really? After what happened yesterday and you sleeping in the guest room, how could I have…” Take a deep breath Bola! “You know what, God knows why and by His grace it’ll all add up soon.”
“Maybe I should come…”
“No! You can’t. This is between God and I. You need to stay at home and have your own conversations with God.”
Duro and I both pause taking deep breaths. I can tell Duro wants to say something.
“Sweetie, are we ok?”
Deep down I know we’re not, but I can’t say that, not now.
“Duro. I just need a few days. Please just give me a few days.”
Duro sighs heavily like deflated tyre, I know these past few months have been hard on him too, but he just has to understand that this is necessary.
“Ok, no… no problem, just do me a favour and make sure to let me know how you’re doing and I’ll call you, so keep your phone close.
“Thank you, Duro. Oh and Seyi is a friend, I’m staying with her and her family. They live near my dad’s house.”
“I’ve never heard you mention a friend named Seyi before.”
“I promise to fill you in when I’m back home, but just know that I’m being taken care of.”
“Sure. Tell her I said thank you.”
Duro and I talk for a few more minutes, not really talking about much, to be honest, we’re both trying to avoid bringing up yesterday’s meeting. Anything we need to say about that definitely needs to be done face-to-face. We end the call as Seyi brings my meal. The best meal I’ve eaten in a long time, I have to get her to teach me how she made the efo that went with the iyan.
I feel much better and insist on helping Seyi clean up the kitchen while we gist. I met Pastor Ike this morning when we got back, but I was so tired it feels like this morning was a blur.
Like I had done the day before, telling Seyi everything that had gone on, I found myself doing the same again with Ike and Seyi at the dinner table. I was hoping for a lighthearted chit-chat this evening, but it turns out that God still needs me to open up.
Even as young as he is, Ike is very pastoral with his mannerisms, it makes sense why he and Seyi work, they compliment each other. He listens intently and only interrupts to clarify who is who in my very lengthy life story. He winces when I mention Prophet Godwin.
“That man is terrible.”
At Ike’s statement, I remember Ope asking me not to go to the service on Saturday, I feel bad and Seyi and Ike sense it.
“Listen Bola, Prophet Godwin and people like him will get their own comeuppance, but understand that God doesn’t need gimmicks and tricks performed before He hears us.”
“I know, but I guess out of desperation I wasn’t thinking clearly.” At least that’s what I reason.
“Remember this, at any time you feel desperate about anything or for anyone that isn’t God, always run back to Him. He loves helping us, we just have to ask and allow Him to do so.” Ike reasons much better than I do.
We talk late into the night about everything else and Seyi and Ike continue to encourage me and point me to the word of God. It’s refreshing. Just what I needed.
“I tell you what, since you’re around for a few more days, why not come to mid-week service tomorrow? We’ll be starting the first book of Samuel and I think you’ll enjoy it.”
“Oh yes, Bola! Join us tomorrow.” Seyi echos her husband's invitation excitedly.
“But won’t Kola… my dad be there?” At my question, Ike and Seyi give each other a look that reads “we didn’t think about that”.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Seyi reassures me like she’s been doing all day.
“I’d like to think about it. I’ll let you know in the morning.”
We end what felt like a therapy session with a prayer and call it a night.
I’m in the room alone thinking about my life and whether I should go to the service tomorrow. I doubt I will; my life as it stands is a soap opera and I can’t take any more twists and turns.
God, please mend me.
“I was a carpenter for a reason. Mending what’s broken is what I do.”
EIGHTEEN
“Praise The LORD! Praise The LORD! Isn’t He a good God?” Pastor Ike asks leaning on the pulpit. The congregation of eight faithful mid-week service goers respond with “Amens” and “He is a good God Pastor!”
Ike waved his hands in agreement and continued to introduce the sermon theme, “Today we’re starting our new series ‘Giver of Gifts’ - exploring the various instances God asks us to seek Him above all else…”
Bola sat in the front pew with Seyi and Samuel, watching as Ike flicked through his bible to start sharing. Although Bola was physically there her mind was at the door like a new church usher waiting for guests to enter. She was waiting for Kolade to arrive. It took everything in her not to turn her head to the door every few seconds afraid that the church regulars would think she had a neck problem or was paranoid.
As Ike instructed everyone to turn their Bibles to the main scripture for the evening, the door eventually opened inviting the breeze in. Bola didn’t need to look back because Kolade’s aftershave filled the sanctuary and instead of her stomach turning, this time butterflies fluttered. Kolade took a seat right behind them, placing his hands on both Seyi and Bola’s shoulders, the unfamiliar gesture made Bola tense. Seyi looked back to greet her old friend but Bola was afraid to do the same. Tears were quickly beginning to line the brim of her eyes, as if a tap had been left to run in a bathtub, she couldn’t start crying now. Seyi in her motherness and sisterness could sense Bola’s countenance and pulled her close, which calmed Bola.
It was a struggle for Bola to stay attentive to what Ike was saying knowing that her father was right behind her, she said a silent prayer asking God to help her but she hadn’t expected how quickly her help would come.
**
THE WORD BY PASTOR IKE
May God bless the reading of His word. Amen.
The books of Samuel are great books full of God’s mighty power on display, and you’ll agree with me that the first chapter of First Samuel sets the tone of what the books would go on to entail. I’ll also start by saying that Hannah was a woman of magnificent strength and faith.
For those of you not familiar with Hannah’s story she was the mother of the great Prophet, Priest and Judge, Samuel. Hannah had been married to a religious man named Elkanah, who also had another wife named Peninnah. In this brief chapter, we discover that Hannah was a distressed woman because she had not had a child yet. To make matters worse, her co-wife Peninnah had children with Elkanah and tormented her for being childless.
Can you imagine the stress of living in such a home, seeing something you want, not having it and being reminded that you didn’t have it, every single day? I would have run mad and I would have probably taken very drastic measures to end such torment.
Now Peninnah’s day-in-day-out tormenting of Hannah wasn’t what shocked me the most reading this scripture. What caught my eye was that God had been the one who closed Hannah's womb! Can you believe that? As far as the text is concerned, we can confidently say that Hannah wasn’t medically unable to get pregnant, and Elkanah definitely was a fruitful man, so why did God close Hannah’s womb? Why would God allow her to suffer such pain? And in the cultural setting of the time, it was a shame to be a married woman without a child, similar to our culture today.
It's hard to imagine God doing this, but His word says He did! That caused me to question myself - ‘Ike have you considered that God has closed ‘this’ thing in your life for a reason?’ I ask you all the same question, if we claim we love this GOOD GOD can you accept that He can close doors, windows or anything for that matter for a specific God-glorifying reason? I want you to stick with me because we’ll revisit this.
The Bible says that Hannah was reduced to tears each time she was made fun of! Each time! Not once in a while, not occasionally, but each time! As we assess Hannah’s story let’s also imagine the physical, mental, spiritual and emotional effects the taunting would have had on her. The Bible also tells us that this torment went on for years. CHAI! I know most of us here are not any different from Hannah - for years we’ve been reduced to tears, questions, sorrow, pain, fear, discord, incompleteness and every other negative word you can think of - and yet, our Good God was the one who closed Hannah womb. I am sure that Hannah had been prayerful and even more so each time the family made a yearly pilgrimage to worship God at Shiloh. So what made this year in Hannah’s life so different that it was recorded in scripture?
My best guess is that Hannah had had enough. This time coming to worship God she came with all her anguish, pain and shame and was determined to leave it at God’s feet. She wouldn’t pretend with God - there were no gimmicks she could perform for God. She realised that God was her creator and therefore to Him, she’d return. In our pain and frustrations do we make God our first point of call or do we chase the empty promises of the world and our own efforts? And when we do meet with God, do we come with one hundred percent honesty? Hannah came to the temple, a public space, and prayed with ugly bitter tears, the type of tears you cry under the duvet or while taking a shower so nobody hears you. Although Hannah’s words were the most silent whispers, her bitterness was so raw that she appeared ‘drunk’ to Prophet Eli. She was immersed in her outpouring to God, she was determined to leave it all with Him, she had no intention of picking the bitterness back up, she didn’t want the pain anymore and so she came to The One who’d heal her.
Now it’s important to note that Hannah started her outpouring to God by first acknowledging Him as her LORD, the LORD ALMIGHTY. This is probably the most vital part of the story, more vital than her actual request. By doing so Hannah was humbling herself and acknowledging God’s fullness. The act of humility isn’t about feeling ‘less’ or ‘lower’ than. This act of true humility was Hannah taking the focus off herself and placing it on God. And yes, she goes on to make her request, but she does so knowing that her focus is still on God; her request for a child, a gift, started and ended with her giving full credit to The Giver of Gifts.
Now we can either dwell on the fact that Hannah’s womb was closed by God and that she suffered in the process, or we can acknowledge that in the tough times Hannah’s faith in God and resolve was being shaped and prepared for this very moment where she’d make a bold request and vow to God. She asked for a gift and said she’d give the gift back to God - after all she had been through? Her courage came from God and was rooted in Him. It’s a terrible misconception that as Christians we’ll never experience tough times and suffering. I’ll be glad to burst your bubble and say that it’s part of the package my dear friends, but in our suffering, we need to hold on to Christ knowing that we still live victoriously because of Him and Hannah was ready to live victoriously whether she had a child or not. How do we know this? We know this because she started her request in verse ten (to God Almighty the God who can do ALL THINGS FULLY) with: “if you will look down upon my sorrow and answer my prayer…”
IF! YOU! WILL!
She knew God could, but she knew His will was much more favourable. It reminds me of the prayer of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane before His crucifixion. Brother Obi, please help us read Matthew 26 from verse 36-39 in the New Living Translation:
“'Then Jesus went with them to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and he said, “Sit here while I go over there to pray.” He took Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, James and John, and he became anguished and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground…”
Just pause there my brother, do you see the similarities? Both Hannah and Jesus bowed down and humbled themselves before God. Continue brother Obi.
“...and bowed with his face to the ground praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.””
Thank you, my brother.
We see it again: “IF! IT! IS! POSSIBLE!... I WANT YOUR WILL TO BE DONE, NOT MINE.”
How many of us can truly say that we’ve reached a point in our life with Christ that we desire His will more than our own? Are you ok asking God “If”, when you really hope His actions will result in what you want? This life with Christ is a refining process that takes place daily, and God is so Good that He knows exactly how we feel, as Christ demonstrated in the scripture we just read. Christ knows exactly what we’re going through in our pain, suffering and wait. This truth should comfort us because we serve a God who can literally relate. He suffered too.
What Jesus did for us by accepting God’s will above His own saved us! This sinful world we live in means we’ll still experience the ‘effects’ of sin, but we are not left hopeless and like Hannah, our friendship with God allows us to be honest with Him. Hannah’s ‘IF’ request was a part of God’s plan and we learn from her that our requests and desires for a gift shouldn’t just be for our benefit but should also benefit those around us. Hannah prayed specifically for a son who’d do God’s work. This son was Prophet Samuel. Hannah’s experiences and knowledge of God made her understand that anything that God gives must be given back to Him to use and He uses these gifts, through us, to bless others for His glory.
I’ll round up with these points. Please jot these down for additional reading in your spare time - we can revisit them in our small groups:
God’s thoughts and plans are beyond ours - it amazes me that the scriptures say that God ‘remembered’ Hannah’s prayer. God never forgets a thing, but the act of remembering is to bring to attention, and intentionally remain at the thought, which at times evokes deep emotion. God brought Hannah to His own attention because it was time for His plans to unfold and she was ready to be used by Him.
God loves us and everything He plans and allows fits into His good story. This is tough to accept and apply, especially if we’ve gone through terrible, terrible things. But it’s the truth. God’s living and hopeful truth.
For points one and two I encourage you to read Psalm 139 in The Passion Translation, I’ll read verses three to five:
“You are so intimately aware of me, Lord. You read my heart like an open book and you know all the words I’m about to speak before I even start a sentence! You know every step I will take before my journey even begins. You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past. With your hand of love upon my life, you impart a blessing to me.”
Be honest with God and remember Him in your suffering. I suggest you read Psalm forty-two. The fourth to sixth verses read:
“My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be: I walked among the crowds of worshipers, leading a great procession to the house of God, singing for joy and giving thanks amid the sound of a great celebration! Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you— even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan, from the land of Mount Mizar.”
Examine your motives for your request. God will appreciate your honesty and in His goodness will give you the right motives for the gifts right for you. James chapter four verse one to three says:
“What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.”
Humble yourself - admit that you need God and acknowledge Him for who He is.
Psalm 139 verse 24 acknowledges God’s creative genius and ends with King David highlighting his shortcomings in hindsight of God’s awesomeness. So he asks:
“See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways— the path that brings me back to you.”
In an older version of the New Living Translation, James chapter four verse 10 reads:
“When you bow down before the LORD and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.”
The Gift Giver is way better than the gift, and by remembering this, we find our strength and joy in Him. This allows us to endure.
Let us rise to pray.
NINETEEN
I watch everyone rise to pray and it doesn’t register that I should do the same. Ever since I’ve come back home it’s like my sensors and reactive ability have shut down. I sit taken aback by the words Ike just shared.
I’ve read Hannah’s story multiple times; she is one of the poster Bible-chicks for women like me but I have never heard her story being broken down like this and more so with the inclusion of Christ and the similarities. I feel like I’ve been asleep for years and I’m just waking up.
I want to ask Ike so many follow up questions. I need to know more about Hannah.
The service ends and everyone greets each other over fresh mango juice and puff-puff. Before resuming her Pastor’s-wife duties, Seyi hands me a small bowl with puff-puff and my own cup of juice, because apparently I’m still stuck to the pew. I’m taking it in, I’m taking myself in. Going through my life’s inventory and it’s a big mess, but there’s Hannah. Better still, there’s Jesus.
I’m triggered by his aftershave and I reluctantly leave the assessment room in my mind and I nod slightly to his unspoken request to sit next to me.
My dad sits and says nothing for a little while as we both stare at the pulpit.
“Ike shared a good word this evening.” My dad eases into a conversation with something we’ve just experienced as if trying to find common ground.
“Mmm. Very good.” I’m trying guys, really. I’m trying to find my words and I’m looking for the switch in my brain that’ll turn my reactions back on.
“I have a hard time accepting some of it though, especially when I consider you and everything you’ve been through… because… of me.”
My gasp is only loud enough for me to hear and I let him continue.
“I’ve thought about the time I’d see you again and what I’d say, and each time I’ve imagined it I’ve always been lost for words, but if there’s anything to go by with all this Jesus stuff is that I can ask Him for the words to say. I’ve been asking for the right words since Monday when I saw you parked outside…”
I look at him, “You saw me?” I’m whispering! Why am I whispering?
“Hannah whispered.”
“Yes. Yes, I saw you. I asked God to make you come back. That was the night I heard His voice for the first time. A sign maybe?” He chuckles with hope. “Omobolanle, sincerely I want to apologise and ask for your forgiveness. I wronged you. You shouldn’t have gone through what you experienced… I know that through Christ I’m forgiven, but I also know that this forgiveness requires me to apologise to you, my daughter.”
“Forgive Him.”
I don’t want to.
“My will or your will be done?”
Oooooh! God, you set me up!! I should have seen this coming!
“Forgive Him.”
I do not want to forgive him!
“Omobolanle are you ok? You don’t look good.” My dad sounds concerned, a first. I want to say ‘I forgive you’ but now everything has gone blank and NEPA conveniently takes the light. It’s so dark in here.
**
Wait I’m by myself now, how did that happen? Ha! I finally found the ability to get up, but it’s still dark, maybe I should sit down.
“Don’t sit. Come.”
Come where? Oh, I’ve seen a small light shining on the spot the pulpit was just seconds ago. Something doesn’t feel right, I feel it in my gut.
“Seyi?! … Ike?! … Baba Bola?! … Duro?! Is anyone here?”
“Omobolanle, it’s just you and I now.”
God.
My sensory nerves are now working in reverse, unlike before I’m now moving against my will. My knees are buckling and trembling from awe.
GOD!
I’m on my knees, head down, heart crushed.
“Tell me everything.”
My mouth starts moving in a language I’ve never spoken or heard before, but I understand everything. I’m pouring my heart out. I’m emptying myself completely.
My inaudible words become a deep heartfelt cry. Every tear I’ve cried since birth till now rises up from within my stomach and I let it all out.
Every single tear. My mother, Oyinsola.
Every single tear. For the wives and their children.
Every single tear. Aunty Funke.
Every single tear. Prophet Godwin Freeman.
Every single tear. Sharon and her child, and the many other women before me.
Every single tear. Baby JJ.
Every single tear. Peju and Mummy Ifetomi.
Every single tear. Kolade Ekundayo.
Every single tear. Duro, my love.
Every single tear. Me, Omobolanle.
Every. Single. Tear. GOD!
I’m completely empty, shivering on the floor as I lay under the beam of The Light.
The Light becomes brighter and larger with each breath I take.
The Light warms me up and fills me.
The Light clears my vision.
I see clearly.
The Light. The Sun.
The Son rising over me.
“It’s ok Bola, I’m here.”
The Light hugs me, the best hug I’ve ever and will ever receive.
With His rays enveloping me The Light kisses my stomach.
“Please rest, I’ll do it all.”
I cry again. This time my tears light up on my cheeks - fluorescent, multicoloured and bright. The colours of celebration.
Tears travel down my face and seep back into my skin to refresh me; I was thirsty and I didn’t realise.
The Light kisses my stomach again and whispers the word “Ekundayo”.
“What? That’s my maiden name.”
The Light kisses my forehead this time and translates: “Sorrow becomes Joy.”
“You can wake up now.”
TWENTY
Bola lay still on the hospital bed with Seyi looking over her, waiting and praying that she would wake up soon. Kolade had stepped out to the hospital car park for fresh air - he developed a hatred for hospitals the day Oyinsola died. Restless, Kolade reached for cigarettes that should have been in his trouser pocket, it was another thing he developed after Oyinsola’s death. He searched for what would give him temporary relief when he remembered he had given up smoking a few weeks ago when he gave his life over to Christ. He was frustrated and afraid and it didn’t help that this was the hospital Bola was born in.
“Remember to rely on me. Breathe my son.” The Voice startled Kolade but he listened.
Kolade pleaded, “Give me more time with her please?”
“Turn around. That’s Duro, Bola’s husband.”
Kolade recognised Duro’s face from the society and event magazines that had published photos of Bola and Duro’s wedding. Kolade had kept a cut out of the two of them in his wallet. Kolade followed behind Duro, tapping him on the shoulder.
“Duro.”
“Huh? Yes! What…” Duro was flustered and confused.
“You’re looking for Bola, I’m her da… Kolade Ekundayo. I’m just heading to her room.”
The name seemed familiar to Duro, but now wasn’t the time for connecting dots. If this Kolade man could get him to Bola faster he was glad to follow.
“What happened to her? And who are you?” Duro demanded when he saw Seyi in the room, he thought she was the doctor.
“Hi… Hi. Duro? I’m Seyi, I was the one who called you. I’m Bola’s friend and this gentleman is Bola’s father.”
Duro was uncomfortable and a bit embarrassed by the introductions “Oh, I see. Thank you for calling me. Tell me what happened.”
Seyi did her best to explain how Bola passed out but couldn’t say why she passed out. As Duro listened intently asking questions, Kolade stood stone-cold staring at Bola who looked lifeless on the bed, he prayed that she would wake up. Opening his eyes after his prayer he saw Bola move.
“She’s waking up.” He said to himself and when he realised that Duro and Seyi had not heard him he repeated himself. “Seyi! She’s waking up!”
Duro ran out of the room shouting for a doctor, “My wife! I NEED A DOCTOR TO SEE MY WIFE!”
**
It takes a while for me to open my eyes, but they eventually open to the glare of artificial light. Compared to The Light I just experienced, this light was insulting.
Where am I?
I’m trying to prop myself up on whatever I’m lying on but everything aches and the room feels like it’s spinning.
“Bola, relax the doctor is coming.” Seyi? Is that Seyi? Why am I seeing a doctor, we were just in church? I’m confused.
I’m trying to ask questions but I can’t hear myself.
“SWEETIE!” Duro? What is Duro doing here? I told him not to come here.
“Sweetie, please relax. I’m here.” I know that! And you shouldn’t be! Can someone tell me what’s going on?
“You scared us Bola! You passed out in the church.” Seyi is always ready with the answers, “You’re in hospital. We’re waiting for the doctor to check on you.”
But I didn’t pass out, NEPA took the light. I’ve been in church this whole time. Right?
**
“Hello everyone, I’ll need to examine and talk to Bola alone, only immediate family can stay.”
The three family members spoke over each other:
“I’m her father.”
“I’m her sis... friend.”
“I’m her husband”
Seyi then made the decision for herself and Kolade to leave the room, “Actually, I think it’s best daddy and I leave. We’ll be by the reception.” Seyi tugged at Kolade’s hand to get him to leave. He was reluctant but followed Seyi’s lead to the waiting area.
“Doctor what’s going on?” Duro was eager for results.
“Bola how are you feeling?” The mature female doctor wasn’t ignoring Duro’s question, however, her first priority was to check on Bola.
“I’m ok. Just a little dizzy.”
“Ok, we’ll have you rest here overnight. Let me get you something to drink. Nurse Hope, please bring the patient some water to drink.”
“Doctor?” Duro didn’t like being ignored, “Are you going to tell us what’s going on or what?”
“I’m sorry sir, I just wanted to make sure your wife was attended to before we begin a discussion.” The doctor turned her attention to Bola, “Bola, my name is Doctor Hannah Isong and I’m an obstetrician…”
“Huh? Hannah?… an… an OB/GYN?” Bola asked cautiously.
“Yes, that’s correct. We…”
Bola sighed at the incompetence of the hospital, “I think you’ve been assigned the wrong patient, I passed out. I’m not pregnant.”
“Bola let her speak…” Duro was getting annoyed because he still didn’t know what was going on.
“Well actually, that’s what I came to tell you. We conducted a blood test and the results say you’re pregnant.”
“What...”
“Doctor Isong, you’re sure?” Duro completed Bola’s sentence.
“Yes, I’m sure. You’re about eight weeks pregnant.”
“Doctor, are you sure? As in sure, sure?” Duro couldn’t believe it.
“Mr Ifetomi, I’m sure, as in sure, sure.” Doctor Isong gave the warmest smile to Duro and Bola. “Bola, I’ll have some food brought to you so you can take some painkillers for the headache, but you’ll stay overnight, just to rest, ok?”
“Yeah… yeah. That’s fine, eat and sleep.” Bola’s face said it all. She was confused and trying to work out dates and ended up at Valentines Day. She wished she had her phone to double-check her app. How did she not know she was pregnant? All this time, all these years and she was finally pregnant! She and Duro were finally going to be parents!
“I’ll leave you to rest. I’ll be back tomorrow morning to check on you and discuss the next steps with you. Again, congratulations to you both. I’ll tell your family that we’re done.”
“Doctor, please tell them to come in in five minutes please?” Duro wanted to savour this moment uninterrupted with his Sweetie.
“I’ll make it ten minutes.” Doctor Isong smiled at them again as she left the room.
Duro reached for Bola’s hand of power and placed both their hands on her stomach. Duro prayed with thanksgiving and praise, sealing the prayer with tearful amen and kiss on Bola’s stomach, exactly where The Light had kissed earlier. In awe of the moment, Bola closed her eyes as celebratory tears streamed down her face.
God had always been with her, it just took her time to realise it.
TWENTY-ONE
It’s the next morning and I barely slept. I’ve been up pondering on the news and especially that moment between being in church and ending up here at the hospital. Everything about that moment was so real, more real than real. I can’t explain it.
To know that God thinks of me and loves me so much is overwhelming, to say the least. And now this gift. Yesterday’s message from Ike was perfect timing. Now I know that as much as this child is a gift from God. This child is more God’s child than mine. It means I have to trust God through it all. What a relief.
I had asked Duro to go yesterday because I also needed time to process this by myself and besides there’s still a lot for us to discuss. Thankfully Seyi was kind enough to suggest that he stay with them so I imagine that they’ll come by together. And there’s my dad… hmmm. God, where do I start from?
“Forgive him.”
**
Duro, Seyi and Kolade arrived in the morning to pick Bola up from the hospital. She was happy to see them, but she knew there was so much she still needed to say to Duro and her dad. She had been quiet during the drive back to Seyi and Ike’s place and Duro noticed, hoping that it was down to tiredness and nothing else.
They had reached the house and were about to exit the car when Bola asked Kolade to wait and asked that Seyi and Duro leave. “You don’t mind, I need to talk to my dad.”
Both father and daughter sat in the backseat of Seyi’s car watching a concerned Duro and a gleeful Seyi enter the house.
“Thank you.” Bola started.
“Thank you? For what?”
“For being at the hospital and for… for being concerned. I really app…”
“You’re my daughter Omobolanle, I want to be there for you if you’ll allow me?”
Bola took a deep breath hoping it’ll calm the quick drumming in her heart. “I erm…” Bola coughed hoping it'd ease out the words trapped in her heart. This was her father sitting before her, decades of life’s joys missed for reasons that could have been avoided. The thought of having to get to know Kolade all over again and have him know her was overwhelming. Her thoughts and questions remained in her head and in line with the week’s theme - ‘The Week of Sorrowful Tears’ - Bola’s eyes began to fill up. Was this really the moment she secretly prayed for?
“Omobolanle? My darling, ma sukun.” Kolade reached to wipe his daughter’s face with his handkerchief and he was thankful that she allowed him to. Oh how he wished he had been there to wipe her tears when she was a young girl, maybe she wouldn’t be so tearful now.
“Than… Thank you.” Bola smiled timidly and continued with what she had to say. “Before I passed out, you had asked me to… to forgive you… honestly... I… I don’t... I didn’t … I didn’t want to… but I know I should… you know… accept your apologies and everything… I erm, I erm for...forgive you.”
Kolade was ecstatic hearing those words and drew his prodigal daughter towards him in a tight embrace for all the years he didn’t when he had the chance to and for all the years he couldn’t when he wanted to; the pair cried in unison not wanting to let the other go.
“I forgive you. ‘Baba Bola’, from the bottom of my heart I forgive you.” Bola cried letting out a sigh of relief and sank deep into her father’s arms, even his aftershave added a pleasant aroma to the emotional moment. She loved being in the arms of her father, arms she missed dearly.
“Thank you Omobolanle! Thank you.”
She withdrew from him ever so slightly, looking him in the eyes, afraid that the moment wasn’t real, “I know we have a lot to work and catch up on but let's promise each other to take one day at a time. A lot has happened with me in just this past week…”
“Of course! Of course! Whatever you want.” Kolade's big grin appeared stretched upwards to his ears, he was more than ready to do anything for Bola. “I’m just glad you’re well and back in my life.”
“We must thank God for that. Also, I want to apologise for my behaviour, you know… for staying away from you and pretty much hating you.”
“Omobolanle, it’s all in the past now, I’m just so elated to have you back.”
“Tell him.”
Bola heard the instruction, but she was hesitant because she had agreed with Duro that they wouldn’t tell anyone about the pregnancy just yet as it was still so early.
“Trust me as Hannah did. Tell him because it’ll mean a lot to him.”
“Erm, ‘Baba Bola’, there’s something I need to tell you, but please don’t tell anyone.”
“What is it my ‘Omobolanle’?”
“At the hospital… the doctor said… the reason why I passed out… well… I’m preg… pregnant. You’re going to be a grandfather.”
“WOW! Really? Oh, thank you, Jesus! Look at me, first my children and now another grandchild. God is really restoring me!”
“Wait, what do you mean by children and another grandchild? You have another child?”
**
I entered the house with my arm linked with Baba Bola’s. Yes, that’s what I used to call him when I was younger, I had thought it was his real name because so many people called him that. If you would have told me last week that I'd be smiling and cosying up with my dad again I would have laughed in your face.
In the car, I had asked him about what he meant by his statement and then he told me about Seyi (a long story that she’ll be best to tell). I wasn’t angry when he told me, in fact, I was relieved and I’m happy! My dad is back in my life and I have a sister!
We enter the house and Seyi is waiting for us in the living room - I run to give her the biggest hug, much to Duro and Ike’s surprise.
“He told me,” I whisper in Seyi’s ear. We both start crying and laughing at the same time.
“You’re not upset? I wanted to tell you earlier, but I wasn’t sure and God also told me to wait but I didn’t want to, but then I did. Then you left and then you came back, then you went to the hospital because you passed out, and I was really scared! I did tell Ike that the church was a little warm, we need to get a new air conditioner. I was so scared! I mean I had just found you and I was going to lose you, but then I... we didn’t lose you and now you know….”
Seyi spoke so fast I had to ask her to take a deep breath. She’s the sweetest! God knew what He was doing when He made her my sister.
I rested in the guest bedroom for a bit and of course, Duro kept trailing me and looking at me as if I were an expensive China plate that’ll break at any moment, it’s very annoying.
“Hey Sweetie, how are you feeling?” He supported me as I propped myself up against the headboard.
“I feel great! You’ve been here the whole time?”
“Yes, I have. I just wanted to stay by your side. I’ve… I’ve missed you.”
So this is the time for our talk I guess.
“Hmmm. Can you pass me the water behind you?” Too much talking will make your mouth dry, I’m just getting myself ready. “Duro, we need to talk.”
“I know.” He was expecting it but he still seemed surprised.
“Firstly, I told my dad about the pregnancy, God really impressed it on my heart to do so. Like to really…”
“It’s perfectly fine Sweetie. I understand.” Duro cups my hands in his.
“Secondly, about the ‘family meeting’.” He releases my hands and shifts a bit but I continue. “The way you walked out the other day was embarrassing and hurtful. If there was ever a time I needed you to speak up that was it, but you didn’t. Why? These days your silence has become so loud and it saddens me…
“I know and I’m sorry.”
“I can appreciate you being sorry, but it’ll take more than that to convince me, especially now.” I point to my stomach like an exhibit being presented in a court hearing. “And you need to have a word with Peju. She’s doing way too much and you know it. Each time you fail to put her in her place you give her permission to continue being a bully…”
“You’re right. You’re totally right. I was actually leaving her place yesterday when the call came in that you had passed out…”
“Did something else happen yesterday?”
“No, no nothing like that. I stopped by to talk to her and I asked Jamil to sit in and I basically told her to leave you alone and that she needs to respect you as my wife. It was a lengthy conversation, I did most of the talking actually and thank God for Jamil, he backed me up.”
Oh, I would have loved to have seen Peju’s face!
Duro offers me a smile as a peace offering and I accept it. “I wish I had been there to hear this conversation myself, but it’s better than nothing. Thank you for talking to her.”
“So, I’m forgiven?”
“Yes, you’re forgiven, but I do have a question. Who is Abike? Peju mentioned her name and…”
Duro shakes his head, giggles in disbelief, hangs his head and sighs before looking back at me.
“Peju! Ah ah, hmmm. Abike was a girl I dated when I was in my last year of secondary school…”
“Ok, and what else, because Peju said…”
“Forget what Peju said! She thinks she knows everything, but she really doesn’t. Well, Abike and I dated for a while and she erm… she got pregnant.”
“WHAT?!” I’m sweating!
“Shhh, you want everyone to hear? Calm down. Let me finish.” Duro sighed with slight annoyance but I can’t tell if he is annoyed at my outburst or at having to tell this secret of his. “The pregnancy wasn’t mine. We had never had sex. She was cheating on me with a guy from our rival school. It was a messy situation and she tried to pin it on me because of our family name. At the time Peju was too young to fully understand everything that happened, and it’s probably my fault for not fully explaining it to her. I just assumed she knew. So there! Abike is nobody you need to concern yourself with.”
“Duro you should have told me this had I known…”
“Had you known and then? Ok yes, I should have told you, but don’t hold it against me. The time was a tough one for me to be honest with you. The only people who believed me were my parents. Even my friends at the time thought I was lying because they had seen her with me. Had it not been for the guy from the other school saying something then who knows where I’d be today. The whole time made me question a lot about myself. At some point, I even thought I was going crazy, that maybe I did get her pregnant and I just forgot. Looking back now, this incident was when I started holding back with my words. I’d go days without saying anything to anyone and just internalise things. I suppose everything that happened this week kind of triggered this bad habit as a way to cope and process, I don’t know, but I am sorry for hurting you, Sweetie. It wasn’t intentional I promise.”
“It’s ok Duro, I understand. And I’m sorry too?”
“For what?”
“You’re my husband, yes. Do I expect you to have my back, yes, but I also took it a step further and tried to make you my hero. You know with everything that happened growing up and my dad not defending me when I needed him too, I kind of hoped that you’d become my hero and now that I think of it, that’s way too much to expect from a human being and each time you failed to save me, my resentment towards you grew - I just didn’t know it. I’ve realised now that we’re all in need of a hero and that hero is Jesus Christ. So, I apologise for putting that pressure on you whether you knew or not.”
Duro pulls me in and hugs me so tight and I whisper to him, “I’ve missed you too, Duro.”
So this is what it feels like to be mended by God? I love it! A crazy stupid week has ended with forgiveness, joy, laughter and A WHOLE pregnancy after five years of marriage! Most importantly, it’s ending with me knowing that God loves me totally! He is indeed the Master Planner.
“You better believe it baby girl. Better believe it.”
NINE MONTHS LATER
I can’t believe he’s here! Our precious baby boy arrived in the early hours of Friday, 9th November 2018 weighing seven pounds and six ounces. He is beautifully and wonderfully made and gifted from God! I can’t believe Duro and I are parents! He is so beautiful with a head full of hair! A complex yet perfect mix of Duro and I.
Tomorrow, a week after his birth is his naming ceremony - I hope you’ll all be there? After all, you endured this ride with Duro and I and so it’ll be a pleasure to have you. The invite is below for details.
I’ll admit I’ve been a bit nervous, this is the first naming ceremony in our family since baby JJ and the thought alone breaks my heart and I’ve just been praying over our boy since I saw his precious little face and as always God calms me down by reminding me that this beautiful boy is His. I forget so often and yet God patiently reminds me, always.
You’re probably wondering if Peju is coming tomorrow, right? Well, your guess is as good as mine. When we told the family about my pregnancy she was not happy AT ALL! Thankfully Duro put her in her place, but I can’t help it - I feel so sorry for her. I can’t imagine what she’s thinking or going through. Since the announcement, the most we say to each other is ‘Hi’ when we’re made to see each other at one function or the other.
Mummy Ifetomi is the best! This woman practically moved in and looked after me throughout my pregnancy and I didn’t mind it one bit. From our frequent conversations on the phone, I know she still feels some type of way about that family discussion. I think it’s fear that made her tell it all that night, but at the same time, I’m happy she did open up because it’s given us a lot to talk about. She and Peju are on talking terms too, Peju is Mummy Ifetomi’s baby, they can’t go a day without speaking. After that ‘meeting’ Peju stopped talking to Mummy Ifetomi for a week, it broke the poor woman’s heart. I guess in her grief Peju realised how much she needed her mother and reached out to make amends. This makes me hopeful for Peju and I - do pray for us I mean Peju and I were actually really close once.
I and the girls, Ope, Tara, Wura and Semilore are closer than ever. See how God works! To think I had been jealous of Semilore being pregnant only for us to be pregnant together and boy did we need each other! Semilore, or as I like to tease “The Artist Formerly Known As Sharon Starr”, gave birth last month to the cutest baby girl named Demilade spitting image of Semilore! Thank The LORD that her naming ceremony was drama-free; I suppose NJ is changing as Jamil claims.
‘Baba Bola’ is amazing! What God is doing in his life leaves me speechless. He is such a thoughtful and doting grandfather to Samuel, Seyi and Ike’s son, which gladdens my heart. He calls me at least three times a day and we talk like old friends. Duro and I visit him every Thursday for a family dinner, Seyi and Ike included. Just like ‘Baba Bola’, Seyi is a wonderful addition to my life. I can’t explain it, you’d think we actually grew up together and people won’t let up on telling us how much we look alike. Funny though, the more I hear it the more I see it, even with some of our mannerisms except the talking-at-a-million-miles-per-hour thing. She’ll actually be here any time soon to help with the set-up for tomorrow - she literally planned everything for us.
Oh, I nearly forgot! There’s MAJOR GIST OH! Wait let me just show you…
See! May God continue to save us from the hands of such people. Ope was the one that sent us a photo of the paper yesterday in our group chat with a voice note. I've never heard her sound so pleased and relieved in all the years we’ve been friends. I’ll need to talk to her about that another time because of the things she said and the way she sounded you’d think that whatever she has against Prophet Godwin is personal - but then again it’s Ope, the faithful sceptic.
Anyway, I think that’s more than enough for today, we can’t wait to see you tomorrow by God’s grace.
Oh, just one more thing, but please don’t tell Duro and act surprised tomorrow! Soooo… these are a few of the names we’re giving our baby boy:
Imoleayode (Ayode for short) - The Light of Joy Has Arrived
Ekundayo - Sorrow becomes Joy
Emmanuel - God With Us
Ifetomi - Love Is Enough For/Satisfies Me
Of course, he has a million other names from his grandparents, aunts and uncles, but those you can find out tomorrow.
See you tomorrow and don’t forget that the colour scheme is ‘sunshine yellow’. I know, I know what shade is ‘sunshine yellow’ again? It’s all Seyi’s idea, not mine... anything yellow will do.
Stay blessed. xx
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GLOSSARY
Ile Baba Bola - Bola’s Father’s House
Gba ball - Kick football
Sha - Right/Anyway
Ah ah - Expression of surprise of frustration
Wait o! - ‘O’ used for emphasis of surprise/understanding
Jesu seun - Thank [you] Jesus
Se you get? - You get me/Do you understand what I’m saying
Wahala - Trouble
Juju - Blackmagic
Oya - Let’s go/Right now
Iya - Mother
Woli - Prophet
Ko tope - It doesn’t require thanks/No problem
Marry ke? - Marry, really/how?
Wetin’ - What
Iyan - Food made from boiled yam that’s pounded (Pounded Yam)
Efo - Vegetable Stew/sauce that goes with pounded yam
I go bring correct iyan for lunch! - I will bring really good pounded yam for lunch
Ehen - Expression for ‘really’ and for emphasis
Oga - Boss/Manager
Se we can come in? - So we can come in?
Who she be? - Who is she
Na your sister? - Is she your sister
Be like you resemble each other oh! - You both look alike
Make I go - Let me go
Oga Kolade go come now - Boss Kolade will be coming shortly
He say make you sit down for under the canopy there - He said have a seat under the canopy
Chai - An expression for shock/excitement etc.
Puff-puff - Sweet doughnut like pastry
NEPA - National Electric Power Authority the former name for Nigeria’s power/electricity organisation but the abbreviation is still used as a ‘nickname’. Official name is Power Holding Company of Nigeria
Ma sukun - Don’t cry
Gist - Story, info, 411, gossip